Is the relationship complicated?
Why are relationships so complicated and hard to understand? Why can't we just live and be happy? Why once we relax and then become hurt, and experience breakups? The answer is simple: we have a harmful pattern.
A pattern refers to the family scripts that we observed in our childhood in our parents' family. What is love? What is the role of a mother and a father? Was there peace? Was everyone able to achieve their goals?
When you turn off consciousness and become your mother, a little bit of your grandmother, a drop of Scarlett O'Hara or Jane Eyre, or maybe even Carey Bradshaw. It depends on what you grew up with. None of these women lived a happy, healthy, joyful life.
We have the wrong concept of how to choose a partner, and how to build relationships. And this wrong concept, some of us learned from the examples of our parents. We continue to make the same mistakes, attracting the same kind of person. We repeat the same patterns in relationships until we finally realize that we need to change them.
Ideally, we should have been shown examples and taught in school how to choose a partner, how to build relationships, how to resolve conflicts, and how to assert our boundaries. But at home, our parents would either argue or play the silent game, manipulate our feelings of guilt and criticize us.
Therefore, if the pattern is not satisfying you, if you don't want to fall in love with a loser and live with an unloved one or hate the entire male race, then consciousness is your remedy. You should constantly ask yourself: Whom am I looking for? Why do I like them? Why did I choose them? What do I dislike about them and how can I let them know? What makes me happy?
You should always ask yourself: Do I want to live this way? And WHAT do I know about living the way I want?